The issue she discusses is something i've always felt strongly about. It was so well written that it inspired me to write this, not only to share her post with you (as i think it's something everyone needs to read) but also to address it from my point of view.
I'm personally thankful for what she's written because I know exactly what she means about shaming thin women by saying "Real women have curves". Is that to say that a woman who doesn't have curves isn't as "real"?
Since about that age of 11 or 12 numerous people have asked me why i'm so thin, told me that i need to eat more and i've even been called anorexic.
But it's not about food. It's about genes too.
I have a very fast metabolism, it's part of my genetics. No matter how much i eat, it's extremely hard for me to gain weight. Some people might say that's lucky but to be honest i've always been extremely body conscious and have wanted to gain weight since i stopped growing at the age of 14. Like everyone else, i have my own issues with my body - i think being slim makes me look lanky and the fact that i'm rather 'straight up and down' makes me feel a bit boyish. I would much rather have kim kardashian-esque curves but, thanks to my genentics, that's never going to happen. Having people saying that i need to eat more or calling celebrities of my size 'disgusting' really doesn't do much for my self esteem or for any other slim girls' self esteem for that matter.
I've never understood why fat-shaming is so frowned upon, but thin-shaming is so accepted.
You would never tell a big girl "eat less!" Or call them 'disgusting', or ask them why they're big. But that's exactly the same as telling a slim girl to "eat more!" Or calling them 'disgusting' or asking them why they're so thin.
People need to think more about what they're saying before they say it, because shaming is extremely hurtful no matter what size you are.
Real women are all shapes and sizes.
As Tyler put it: "If anyone is really worried about the self-esteem of tomorrow's youth, perhaps we should be teaching them instead that compassion is the thief of joy. Maybe we should tell them that whether they're built to look like Miranda Kerr or Adele, that they are beautiful and have value as a woman."
I'd love to hear your guys' opinions on this subject. Do you think size-shaming is a problem? Do you agree with what Tyler says? Let me know.
Bit late to the game on commenting on this, but felt I had to just because I've had pretty much the same experiences as you... I think people just forget that being called 'skinny' is still quite insulting, because being slim is generally aspirational for young women.
ReplyDeleteThroughout life I've constantly had to battle with the 'real women have curves' slogan, but as hard as I try, genetically I don't think I'm meant to have any haha! I always think that by giving praise to curves, it's kind of shaming slimmer body types which contradicts the whole point of it- the message should instead be about embracing your body no matter what shape you are. After all, there are a lot of things which define femininity- not just busts and bums.
Great post Em, takes me back to AS comms and culture ;) xxx
everythingandthegirlxo.blogspot.com
Thanks for the comment lovely :) it's reassuring to hear from someone else who knows where i'm coming from!
DeleteAha that's what i was thinking, i do miss comms and culture sometimes!
xx